Schools Can’t Do This Alone

There is a statement I think we need to become more comfortable saying:

Schools can’t do this alone.

Before anyone assumes this is an argument against public education, homeschooling, or about which educational choice is best, keep reading. I think the truth is bigger than that.

Whether your child attends public school, private school, a charter school, a microschool, or learns around the kitchen table at home, there is something every child still needs.

You.

I grew up with a teacher as a Mom. She worked. She had a career. She had students of her own who needed her just as much as I did. Homeschooling wasn’t an option for our family so I went to public school. But something interesting happened every afternoon.

My education came home with me.

My parents didn’t assume that because I had spent the day with trained educators, their responsibility for my education was finished. If I struggled with math, we addressed it. Sometimes that meant sitting down together working problems at the dinner table. And sometimes that meant teacher conferences or finding someone who could tutor me better than Mom could.

Then, there were science projects, reading books together, research assignments and homework…..questions, late nights, tears, arguing, tantrums, and I am sure the occasional door slamming.

There was lots of frustration on both of our parts….and times when we both were ready to give up.

But, at home, there was an expectation that learning didn’t stop simply because the school bell rang. Looking back now, I realize my parents sent me to school to get an education, but they never expected the school to raise me.

There is the difference.

Have We Confused Schooling With Education?

Somewhere along the way, we’ve begun using the words schooling and education as though they mean exactly the same thing. They don’t. School is one place education happens. But education also happens at home.

It happens in the kitchen when a child reads and doubles a recipe. It happens in the garage while helping Dad critically think and solve a problem.

It happens in the garden, on the farm, in the woods, at church, at the library, on the ball field, inside a local business, and sitting beside a grandparent who has lived enough life to teach something no textbook ever could.

It happens when children are allowed to ask, “Why?” and, instead of immediately being given the answer, are encouraged to think critically about the situation.

It happens when they fail and they build confidence by trying again. When they have responsibilities. When they are expected to finish something they started. When an adult takes the time to say, “Let’s figure this out.”

That’s education too. And our children need more of it.

We Have Asked Schools to Carry an Enormous Load

Think for a moment about everything we now expect schools to accomplish. We want them to teach reading, writing, mathematics, science, history, technology and the arts.

But that’s only the beginning.

We also expect schools to prepare students for careers, teach financial literacy, develop communication skills, address behavior, build character, encourage healthy choices, teach digital citizenship, develop social skills, identify learning difficulties, support emotional needs, keep children safe, prepare them for college, expose them to careers and somehow make sure every child leaves prepared for adulthood.

Then we hand a teacher a classroom full of children who come from different homes, have different abilities, different experiences, different needs and ask them to somehow fill every gap.

We shouldn’t be surprised when they can’t.

No institution can replace everything a child needs from a family and a community.

That isn’t a criticism of public education. I am a strong advocate of public education but we must acknowledgment its’ limitations.

Your Child Still Needs You

Maybe this is the uncomfortable part.

Sending our children to school does not outsource the responsibility for their education. Our children still need parents/guardians to ask about what they’re learning.

Not simply “How was school?”

But “What did you learn today?”

“What was hard?”

“Show me.”

“Why do you think that happened?”

“Let’s look it up.”

They need us to read with them, notice when they’re struggling, and find the tutor when they need more help. They need us to reinforce expectations and teach responsibility.

And sometimes parental involvement means something even harder.

Sometimes it means hearing your child’s version of what happened at school, yet be willing to consider that the teacher might be right.

Sometimes supporting your child means advocating for them. And sometimes supporting your child means looking them in the eye and saying: “You CAN do better.”

Both are love. Both are parenting. And both are part of education.

And Homeschool Parents—You Don’t Have to Do It Alone Either

There’s another side of this conversation that deserves just as much attention.

Choosing to educate your child at home doesn’t mean you have to become the only person who teaches them.

You don’t have to be the math expert, the chemistry professor, the music instructor, the spelling expert, the counselor, or the career advisor.

The everything.

Maybe someone else can teach algebra better than you can. Great. Find them.

Maybe your child needs a science lab, a co-op, an apprenticeship, a music teacher, a local farmer, a business owner, a retired engineer, a grandparent or a mentor.

Invite them into your child’s education. There is no prize for doing every part of it alone.

Perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give children is surrounding them with adults who know things we don’t.

Maybe We’ve Been Having the Wrong Argument

Public school versus homeschool. Traditional versus alternative. Teacher responsibility versus parent responsibility.

We spend an enormous amount of energy deciding which side we’re on.

Maybe we’re asking the wrong question.

Maybe the question isn’t simply: Where should children be educated?

Maybe we should also be asking: How many people are invested in educating them?

My teachers educated me. My parents educated me. My family educated me. My experiences educated me. My community educated me.

They complemented one another… they didn’t compete with one another.

It Still Takes All of Us

I am deeply grateful for the teachers who taught me. And I’m equally grateful for my Mom who understood that their presence didn’t eliminate hers. She couldn’t homeschool me but she never stopped teaching me.

Today, as we are at the beginning of another school year, maybe there is something wonderfully old-fashioned worth remembering:

Children need teachers. They need parents. They need mentors. They need coaches. They need grandparents. They need neighbors.

They need communities that see their education as something worth investing in.

Schools can’t do this alone. But parents shouldn’t have to do it alone either.

The village was never supposed to replace the parent. And maybe the parent was never supposed to be the whole village.

Somewhere between those two truths is a child waiting for all of us to show up.

And perhaps that’s where education really begins.